English 12 — Fri. Apr. 20

Today: We drafted our “Wild Encounters” composition.

We also looked briefly at some examples of Dillard’s sentence structures. Try imitating one or two of these structures in your own writing:

  • “He was ten inches long, thin as a curve, a muscled ribbon, brown as fruitwood, soft-furred, alert.”
  • “Our look as if two lovers, or deadly enemies, met unexpectedly on an overgrown path when each had been thinking of something else: a clearing blow to the gut.”
  • “It felled the forest, moved the fields, and drained the pond; the world dismantled and tumbled into that black hole of eyes.”
  • “I should have lunged for that streak of white under the weasel’s chin and held on, held on through mud and into the wild rose, held on for a dearer life.”

For example, describing the ocean I might analyze the first example like this: Description of size, simile, metaphor, simile about colour, short description, single word. And then write about the ocean:

  • “The waves were three feet high, loud as a garbage truck, a churning machine, grey as dull steel, frothing angrily, incessant.”

Give this a try with one of the above sentences or any other sentence (in this essay or elsewhere) that you consider beautiful or effective.

Homework: Please finish your first draft this weekend. On Tuesday we will read our last adventure-themed personal narrative: “Thanksgiving in Mongolia”.



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